Alas

One super hot dude...down the tubes. No 2nd date. Destined to be friends. Alas, alas, alas. Oh well...still out there looking! Who knows when Mr. Mmm Mmm Mmm is gonna grace me with his presence, dazzle me with his brillance, or more likely, cut the cheese.

Let's recap the week. Poker sucks (yes, I was a total donkey this week), my computers are giving me fits (of course it's not just ONE computer, the computer Gods have decided that I need complete punishment - Thank you, sir! May I have another?!?!) The hottie says sayonara. My car needs to be detailed and I wind up getting out of it with more dog hair on me than my bloddy dogs have on their bodies. And it appears I am going to have to break down and do something with my back yard...I can barely see the dogs out there anymore.

Oh joy! Oh joy! I have a great life! :-D

Out of Curiosity

[rant on]

Do you think I will ever be able to go an entire week without having some kind of friggin' computer meltdown? I do this for a living...why do the computer gods insist on punishing me? I mean REALLY...what did I do to them? Who did I piss off enough to make them present me with some niggling little problem that will pop up here and there? Not consistently, no...that would be tooooo figurable-outable. But one of those little "Let's drive Joanne insane today" things.

Basically, I am a good person (OK, I smoke and swear...but these are computer gods...like they should give a crap about that, right?). Oh no...they insist on stickin' it to me. God said "Today, this small application shalt not bring forth creation.. And it was so."

I have come to the conclusion that I am a sadomasochist. I love my job and I love playing around online; working, learning, reading, screwing around...but with that love there must be an inner desire to want the computer gods to mess with my mind. That has to be it. I must be internally screaming GIVE ME SOME LITTLE PROBLEM TO TOTALLY DRIVE ME CRAZY! I want it! I crave it! Please give it to me! Something that's small enough to not work the way it is supposed to...allow me to continue doing what I am doing...but with just a little GOTCHA that makes me go into total FIGURE IT OUT mode. Please do that to me...there is nothing more I love in life than wasting hours and hours dissecting WTF is wrong.

Maybe I need to get on my knees and pray to those gods. Some small sacrifice; a chicken or goat maybe? Blood wall to wall? Pennance! That's it. Rosaries to the internet goddess. Our Fathers to the registry god. Can someone please tell me what I can do to get off their shit list???

AAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!

Did I mention that Internet Explorer SUCKS?

[/rant off]

I suck!

You know...you get a good chip count, maybe go up and down due to bad beats, ok, fine...but to lose a decent stack to a suck ass, stupid, donkey move. Well, I just suck.

Why do I love this game so much? I must be a sadomasochist. I love to torture myself with dipshit moves, stupid bluffs, or playing too tightly. I love to shoot myself in the foot by making that call that I JUST KNEW I shouldn't make.

I SUCK I SUCK I SUCK I SUCK I SUCK I SUCK I SUCK I SUCK

Here's to you...

You calling station, river lucky, donkey ass, SOB!

Sorry all...but this one was toooooo good to let go into an archive and into oblivion.

If you haven't read it, please do. If you have, read it again! It's soooooooooooooo worth it!!!

Yes, THIS is the best poker rant ever.
Click the THIS link (above) and look for Ode to a Lemur.

Enjoy!!

(And a huge thanks to AlCantHang for this wonderful read!)

Best Poker Line Out There

"Poker is an old dirty whore. Poker is a $10 crack rock. Poker is an illusion and a momentary distraction from the harsh world that we live in."

This comes from the Tao of Poker. Enjoy the ride!

A day in the life

Not too much going on here. Met the cutest guy in the world the other night. WOW is about all I can say to describe that 1st date! I usually don't get too into meeting someone for the first time...it's usually such a HUGE Y A W N E R , but this guy totally rocked. (This would be the TRES cutie pie I was thinkin' about in my Nebraska trek last week.) Not only is he about the best looking guy I have ever laid eyes on (think Brad Pitt, Vince Vaughn, and Orlando Bloom all rolled into one...only better!!), but he's smart, sooooo much fun, outstanding personality, and seems to be a genuinely decent guy.

How'd that happen? I thought guys like that pretty much went the way of the DoDo bird. Thankfully, that extra special DNA was stored somewhere and made into this guy. Just a first date, but one where I would definitely like another to happen...and for me, wanting a 2nd date is something that doesn't happen often! God smiled on me! Let's keep the old fingers crossed that that 2nd date actually happens!

Minor computer glitches still happening from the fatal crash a couple weeks ago. Almost there...one step forward, two back sometimes.

I read the greatest story about a stolen Sidekick (phone/PDA). If you have lots of spare time, read this. It's a hoot! And there's nothing quite like stickin' it to an asshole. Good job!

My poker playing is a little hot here, a little cold there. The usual. Nothing really to bitch or brag about. (Who'd listen anyway...and further, who'd give a crap?!?!)

OK, that's it for now. Ciao!

Just another day

Some days you got it and some days you don't. Today, I didn't.

Crap, Crap, Crap!

Gonna be another busy week....and I am NOT looking forward to it. After my computer crash, I am still playing catch up. One word: Yuck!

Yesterday was in the mid 90's (can you say HELLLLLLLLP, I'M MELLLLLTINGGGGGG?) and today was rain, overcast, rain and, well, just totally blah. I hate weekends like this. It makes me feel like there was no weekend at all. And with a busy week coming up, too. Two words: DOUBLE YUCK!

I wanna move to Hawaii or something. Rains in spurts all the time but only for a few minutes here and there...otherwise, perfect temps, nice breezes, and great Chi Chi's (with umbrellas, of course). Hmmm...a Joanne special Chi Chi sounds good!! I do believe that pineapple rum, coconut rum, some banana liquor (and coconut milk, a half a banana and some ice - blended...just in case you wanted to know) just might be in my near future. :-D

More boredom!

Insight into Joanne (like anyone cares! :-)

Not sure how they came to the vanity thing...totally not true. Arrogance? Perhaps at times. Not too sure if I agree 100% with the rest, too, but for what it's worth. :-D

Dating Strengths	Dating Weaknesses
1. Independence - 85.7% 2. Intelligence - 71.4% 3. Optimism - 71.4% 4. Financial Situation - 69.2% 5. Confidence - 66.7%	1. Vanity - 58.3% 2. Arrogance - 50%

Dating Strengths Explained
Independence - Your strong sense of independence comes in handy while dating. You are not held back or tied down; you are free to pursue your interests. Intelligence - Your sharp intellect is a valuable asset. Use your intelligence wisely; avoid condescension. Quiet, confident intelligence is very attractive. Optimism - People are drawn to your positive outlook. Your optimism attracts others to you. Financial Situation - You've got your financial situation under control, which is a very desirable quality. Be careful to avoid men who are only interested in your money. Confidence - You are sure of yourself and confident of your abilities. Displays of confidence go a long way when attracting a date.
Dating Weaknesses Explained
Vanity - Learn to put a lower priority on looks. Appearance is, of course, important, but vanity is undesireable. The only people you will attract are the superficial. Arrogance - You are a bit full of yourself. You need to practice a little humility now and then, as arrogance can be a turn-off.
Dating Strengths and Weaknesses Quiz by Dating Diversions

Bored Stiff (apparently)!

Take the test and see how you compare to the monkey. Some of these are totally obscure questions. I usually score much higher in these types of things, so I'm interested in how you do. Post comments if you do this.

GO FOR IT!! Hope you spank him!!

The following are my results. 57th percentile. GAG ACK BARF! :)

Joanne's Final Quiz Score: 27 right out of a possible 60
The Monkey's Final Score: 15 right out of 60

Well done, you have sent the monkey to his defeat. Your score is unquestionably higher, and thus the lowly monkey has been proven once again to be humankind's intellectual inferior. Good work, however your score does leave room for improvement. We should like to see the human dominate even more completely!

You scored in the 57th percentile.
(57% of quiz takers scored worse than you)

Geography Your score: 8 Monkey's score: 4 -- Quite a sufficient job.	History Your score: 4 Monkey's score: 6 -- Not your finest hour.
Science/Technology Your score: 6 Monkey's score: 1 -- Well done.	Random Trivia Your score: 9 Monkey's score: 4 -- Good but not great.

Link: Monkey Trivia Quiz

Happy Fathers Day

Happy Fathers Day, poppy. I miss you every day.

Here's a tear-jerker ode to dad. Grab some kleenex before reading. And be sure to tell your dad how much he means to you on his special day. Our time with them is too short.

Ooooo-kay

I thought I was a little whacky watching poker on TV all the time...but what did I see today as I was surfing the tube? A Rock/Paper/Scissors championship competition. And I thought *I* had time on my hands!

Hey wait...I could do that!! $50,000 payout! SCHWEEEEEEEEET!

Speaking of too much time on my hands, as of this writing, I am 1,481,549,857 seconds old. {wink}

Todays rant

So I drove to NE and back on Wed and Thurs. (Now what does a poker player think about for 18 hours? Oh, about 80% of the time, POKER [starting hands, hand analysis, better ways to bet - not to mention all the jonesing I did every time I passed a casino!! {if you want to know, from Chicago to the middle of Nebraska along I-80, there are nine casinos}, and Omaha? DING! DING! DING! No, not the town, the GAME! Yeah, I got it bad!], 5% random thoughts (ok, some not so random...dude, you are WAY cute, bright, fun, totally DEEEE-LISH!!), and about 15% thinking MOVE OVER YOU SLOW FUCK! YOU'RE IN THE LEFT LANE FOR GODS SAKE!)

OK, so what's my rant? I saw the dumbest move ever. I-80 is two lanes in each direction with a wide grass divided median. Some bonehead pulls over into the right shoulder, and makes a U-turn, GOING IN THE WRONG DIRECTION on I-80, for about 500 feet so he could turn around...half on the left shoulder and half in the lane...going up an incline. Jesus Christ, he was lucky to not have killed himself or someone else. Ok, Einstein...you want to off yourself, fine, but spare the other poor sap who's driving down the interstate, minding his own business.

People are soooooooooooooooo fucking stupid!

{/rant off}

Well, well, well

Played in my 2nd online tournament tonight with some REALLY, REALLY good players. Took down 6th (which is good and bad...I was chip lead almost all the way throughout. One bad call and a couple rivers later...no longer chip lead - not just no longer chip lead but I thought for sure I was going to bubble - went from 1st to 10th in a matter of several hands. Couple double up's later and I was final table bound.) I am HONORED to be playing with you guys.

Yeah, I make alot of final tables within my group. But it's nice to do it with some top people. It's always nice to get a little comfirmation that I have somewhat of a clue what I am doing. Oh, and a little luck doesn't hurt, too.

Thanks, Chris for turning me on to that. I's loves ya!

The best blog ever!

Ah, here is the best poker rant ever. After getting rivered, rivered, rivered last night, this struck a cord.

Click the here link (above) and look for Ode to a Lemur.

Enjoy!!

(And a huge thanks to AlCantHang for this wonderful read!)

Crabby as hell

Nothing like going out three times in one night.

Luck was not in my cards last night. I got rivered, rivered, rivered!

GRRRRRR!

All in a day

Well, the laptop is coming home today with a shiny, new 100 mg hard drive. Now, to attempt to recover files. Yeah, yeah, yeah...I know: BACKUP! For a geek, I dropped the ball. (deep sigh)

Played in a big online tourney last night. TOTALLY SUCKED! 44th out of 69. Completely not up to my standards. Worse yet? I got good cards. No excuse. I screwed up.

Learn learn learn! That's the name of the game.

Til next time....

When bad things happen...

Alas, my laptop bit the big one. Off to the Geek Squad we go. I have a feeling it's the hard drive. (DEEP SIGH) I hope it's repairable, cause I love this thing!

WOO HOO!!

Made the final table tonight. That's 3 out of 4! POINTS, POINTS, POINTS!!

It's all about the POKER!

I have registered to play in the PokerStars World Blogger Championship of Online Poker!

This Online Poker Tournament is a No Limit Texas Holdem event exclusive to Bloggers. Registration code: 5619605

Come on along for the ride! It's gonna be a blast!

Today

Today is my first entry. WOO HOO!

A little about me. I live in the northern burbs of Chicago. Am a Sr. Consultant who travels here and there for work. I love reading (I own about 5000 books) and live to play Texas Hold 'em poker!

I am on what can best be described as a poker league. I play (in person) about 3-5 nights a week, and in a good week, I can make 3 or more final tables. I recently started playing in casinos and have made a couple final tables thus far. Not bad for a newbie (I only started playing in January of this year (06).