A little of this...a little of that

Please visit my new blog!

2008-05-06T09:52:00.001-07:00

I hope you have enjoyed this blog, and I look forward to seeing you at my new blog: LiveFrankly.

http://livefrankly.wordpress.com Click HERE to go to the new blog.

Here's to seeing each and every one of you there!

Looking For...You?

2008-05-01T06:55:00.001-07:00

I am in the process of starting a new blog (not this one) which will focus on the food and water crisis which is just starting to become known.

Left leaning bloggers interested in contributing, this is the vision:

- A Whole World Out There - news and views from around the world

- Cool Green Products: Links and comments on new products people could and should use

- Earth Wind and...: Science stories people can relate to

- Go Green: Simple changes people can make to change their lives and positively impact the earth

- News and Views: Left leaning stories that don't make the mainstream (not regurgitations of what is in the mainstream or on other blogs, but thoughtful commentary surrounding what is already out there)

- What If...?: A series on how to handle basic crisis situation (e.g., what if the electricity goes off for X number of hours...how do you survive)

Should you be interested in contributing, email me!
(My email info is in my profile)

A Fightening View from the Right

2007-06-01T14:09:00.000-07:00

Let's further indoctrinate children. Good plan. Read it and weep (click the UGH link below).

UGH!

My fav quote: "If global warming presents problems down the road, private companies and entrepreneurs will come up with fixes. Government intervention will only stifle this spirit of innovation."

Impeachment. Put it back on the table!

2007-04-28T07:22:00.000-07:00

This is from 2004. Oh, how little has changed...just more death and destruction. And for what? OIL! Bush and Chaney's friends don't have enough money yet.

http://www.nlg.org/members/2003resolutions/Impeachment.pdf

Proud Democrat

2007-03-23T11:30:00.000-07:00

If being a democrat means I have values, ethics, and abhor lying, I am a proud one! These days, being a member of the GOP means that lying is a means to an end, only those who make $200k a year or more through the use of illegal aliens used in sweat shops world wide while ruining every local environment and backing a war which we were lied into, only those people have value to our country. Lest not forget torture, dishonesty, removal of American's rights, and gifts to corporate greed (can you say HALIBURTON [Hmmm, moving corporate HQ to Dubai, operations to Mexico and cheaper wages, after gouging the American people for hundreds of billions of taxpayer money. Yeah, you go GOP, let's have some more of those no bid contracts.]) Guess what? I don't buy into those values or beliefs.

Apparently, lying about everything BUT getting a blow job is good for the GOP. Those are definitely not the Family Values I buy into.

IMPEACH BUSH AND CHANEY!!

Then try them for war crimes! How many more Americans have to die? How many hundreds of thousands innocent Iraqis have to die?

Long time no type!

2007-03-23T09:19:00.000-07:00

Well, it's months since I was last here. Oh the things that life throws at us. When last we met, I was in Thailand (with the $60 bucks worth of local currency - but for the generosity of a total stranger would have been a very difficult week [when my ATM said, MUAHAAAAAAA, Sorry, no cashola for you!]) and forecast for a long, long trip. Luckily, my ATM decided to work on its own (yes, someone has to explain that one to me) and the business trip went off without a hitch (other than dealing with a death in my family eight thousand miles away, my back going out due to stress, and other sundried and various lovelies) and back on US soil I found myself attmepting to get things done in the hours I was actually home.

Yes, it was Reno, NV, LA, Thailand, CT, England, GA, jeez you name it and I felt like I was there.

Thanks to my wonderful cousin who flew in from Germany to help me take care of the estate of my late grandmother (God bless you, David! What would I have done without you??)

My travels of late are still up there but not quite as often, thank goodness! I got to play out at Foxwoods again (taking 2nd place, thank you very much...and getting sucked out on yet again in other tourneys) and eating at Custy's, the all you can eat lobster and seafood place just a couple miles east of Foxwoods - always high on my list.

Of late, I am dealing with my ever flooding basement, my tiny little canine addition schooching out under the fence doing her damnest to become tire fodder and sending me into total shrewness as I spy every car that goes by while I attempt to find her (Steve, sorry about your ears on that last one...I was picturing the cartoon horn coming out of your other ear as I screamed at that lonely Nissan driving right up on her). SCHWEET!

I took down a ladies tourney the other night...boy did that one seem to be an all nightet! I played good poker and got a couple of really good players to buy into my traps which gave me the chip lead at the final table. I maintaned the chip lead for but a few JOANNE, YOU'RE A DONK hands and managed to take it all. Nice win in one of my first big tourneys in some time. I dug it!

With all the weirdness that happens here and there in my life, I can honestly say that my life has taken an interesting and positive turn of late. It never ceases to amaze me that there truly is good in the world. Every time I give up on humanity something happens to remind me that life really is pretty good.

I've missed all my poker buds out there. Let it be known...SHE'S BACK! :-)

XOX to all!

Hello from Thailand!

2006-10-02T05:00:00.000-07:00

I only have one question...ok, two:

Why does it cost 10 baht per minute to log into the internet? How on earth am I supposed to get my poker fix??? This sucks!

How come I can meet the cutest, sweetest, smartest guy in THAILAND but not at home??? I swear this guy took the 2nd tour 'cause he knew I was taking it. (And that sooooooooooooooooooooo rocked!!!!) SWOOON FAINT THUD! Doctor Delish...you are dreamy, big time! (How about a guy who gives you cashola when you tell him that your ATM card won't work in a foreign land and you have NO, yes I said ZERO, local currency?? Jeez, who does that?? A totally decent person out there? HELLO! I think I'm in love! Why do you live in OZ? Alas, alas, alas!...and god bless you for saving my ass! Hmmm...why do I find myself wanting to visit the land down under - and soon, too? {wicked evil grin})

Thailand is an interesting place. I will write more when I have some time (not to mention money)...what a strange, strange trip it's been!

I miss my poker buds and my poker nights! Can you say W I T H D R A W A L??? Oh yeah, I sure can!

Up up and away

2006-09-27T03:20:00.000-07:00

Well, the biz trip from hell has started. My 14 day trek was supposed to start by flying into Reno then heading out to Squaw Valley (site of the 60's Olympics) for a conference. Get to O'Hare and board the plane only to be told that the anti lock brakes failed. Sit on runway for an hour. Cancel flight. Schweet!

After an hour on the phone with the rescheduling folks, the three of us were bound for San Francisco (via St. Louis...can you say inching your way across this great land? Yeah, thought you could. :-D) where we rented a car and drove 3 hours back to Squaw Valley. WOO HOO!! Oh wait...forgot to mention that we boarded the exact same plane we had gotten off of 2 hours prior. Oh, and the anti lock brake issue? Not an issue flying into St. Louis...only Reno (due to elevation and length of runway). Ooooo-k!! I am feeling REALLY safe about now!

Did I mention that while we made it to Cali, our bags did not.

So, I am at this lux resort we go to every year for this conference and they manage to fuck up the key cards 5x. I kept getting locked out of my room. Jesus Christ on crutch. Am I having fun yet??

Fastforward three days...I am leaving for Thailand for work, and guess what? STILL NO BAGS!

Ok, bags arrived at my hotel in Reno exactly 12 hours before my flight(my 24 hour flying journey to Asia begins in Reno to LA to Tokyo to Bangkok). NOW WE'RE COOKIN' WIT GAS! At least I have STUFF!

Did I mention that this silly assed seriously upscale resort in Cali is totally doggie friendly with a really cool little pet shop? I got my Roma some popcorn. Roma lives and breathes for popcorn and yogurt. She's Pavlov's salivating pooch to the Nth degree when either are in front of her eyes or wafting up her nose.

Here's Roma, btw.
Isn't she the cutest??

Anyway, this little upscale pet shop had Filet Mignon flavored popcorn. I just HAD to get that for my little baby! Momma misses you, angel!!!

Gotta love a place that sells $150 collars. Can you say PEOPLE WITH TOO MUCH MONEY AND TOO LITTLE COMMON SENSE?? Well, that's what I think at least...and I live for my kids (er, dogs)!

Missed my weekly poker game and probably will again for a couple weeks. I will try to hit a couple tourneys in Thai time while I am gone, though.

Ciao for now all!

J

Joanne's Theory of Poker (in the current millenium)

2006-09-19T14:02:00.001-07:00

[rant on]

After extensive thought and hours of playing poker both online and in 3D, discussing poker strategy with my friends, again both online and in 3D, I have come to the conclusion that it is playing poker online (along with a side order of watching poker on TV) that has created the phenomena we now have of the worst fucking players ever. Please allow me to explain my hypothesis.

I play poker in 3D alot (well, not as much as I used to, but all-in-all, my 3D play still far surpasses my online play). Playing in person (if you play reasonably good, or reasonably intelligent [or reasonably both] types of people) you don't have as many people who are going to call some ridiculous bet that an online player or newbie will jump on. (Hello! KQ off just ain't that great when it's behind a raise and a reraise - well, to reasonably good players, right?!) So, why do we see so much bullshit? Oh, wait, let me please define bullshit for you first:

Bullshit #1: All-in, first hand in to a tournament

(and subsequently every other hand thereafter)

To wit, I was watching a tournament earlier today and first hand, three people went All-In. This started with one A-I and then two callers. There was not one single pair. We're talking AQ vs. AJ. vs AT. SAY WHAT??? We're not even talking big slick!! (And there's a reason they call AK Anna Kournikova; cause it looks damned good but just doesn't win much! It's a nice STARTING hand!) Would I call an All-In first hand with it? Nope, no way! Would I call three All In's with a pair of 8's? Probably not. Would you? Didn't think so. (We're still talking first hand here.)

Bullshit #2: The Suck Out

I have never, ever seen more people call with the most bogus hands EVER as I do online. Bottom pair calling to the river (and I mean calling SERIOUS bets where they HAD to know they were dead meat) only to hit trips on the bloody river. Or they call a monster bet with a gutshot straight draw or a backdoor flush with their fucking 56 suited connectors (since when is a 6 high flush a GIVEN as the nuts???) and then hit with their 1 or 2 or 5 outer. Would you call a big bet with a 6 high flush? I would have to give that serious thought (based on betting patterns, etc.) COME ON!

OK, so this is the meat of my entire rant and the reason WHY PEOPLE SUCK playing poker. I had a conversation with one of my blogger buds a couple times about the number of suck outs he suffered to on PokerStars. He felt that FullTilt had a much better ratio which was closer to normal (read: 3D) play. I play on both PS and FT. So today I am playing on FullTilt (and thinking about my friend who likes FT better) and sure as shit, EVERY hand where I had callers, I got sucked out on. The only thing that held for me were my QQ where everyone folded to my bet (I had QQ twice...the only wins I got that whole tourney). Let me further say that I was not the only one who got sucked out on (and I am NOT talking about the good kind of sucking here! Sorry, I tangented there for a moment….mind in the gutter…nevermind!)

Anyway, as my theory goes, as people play online much more often than they do face-to-face, the number of suck outs they see and experience (being the sucker as well as the suckee - along with most people having no clue about statistical analysis and probability [ok, I am giving people way too much credit here], er, having no concept of OUTS), they EXPECT that the suckout is how poker works...that it is the rule, NOT the exception.

Coupled with that is TV. How many hours goes into creating one hour of television? Uhm, FIVE maybe? Five hours of FOLD, FOLD, FOLD. Fold to the BB. Fold to any bet. No, these Einstein's see the two hands out of two hours that makes good TV and think THAT'S HOW TO PLAY POKER!

So, now...let's couple these two pieces of total bullshit together and what do we get? We get people who call and go all in with nothing and suck out and think they are the next Erick Fucking Lindgren (I almost said Phil Fucking Hellmuth cause I liked the almost alliteration better but Erick Lindgren is so damned cute [not to mention having the sexiest voice on the planet - dude, would you PLEASE make an instructional tape for me...god I could go to bed with that voice every night.] Whooops, serious tangent there, sorry!!) because THEY WON A HAND. Yo, you dumb mutha fukka, YOU SUCK! You won cause you got lucky! Play for the next year and tell me how much in the hole you are...and FUCK YOU while you're at it ‘cause I KNOW that if I play in that rare cash game, you’re gonna suck out on me!! GRRRRRRRRRRR!

One of the poker commentators said this the other day: The All-In is the right strategy to use if you feel the other people at the table play better than you. Swell. Now they're teaching them that All-In is the way to win a hand you no way otherwise would have, right?

Not that I am the best poker player out there, HARDLY, HARDLY, HARDLY! But at least I understand the basic concepts and TRY to become better at my play! Do I make stupid bets and calls? Hell yeah!! (Although I try to keep those to when I feel desperate (seriously short stacked with an almost negative M [grin]) But I like to think that when I do make stupid moves I KNOW IT and I know why I did it and if I didn't at that moment, I thought about it and I learned from it!

Again, I ask...WHY DO I LOVE THIS GAME???????

{/rant off}

Living and Learning

2006-09-16T18:10:00.000-07:00

I've been playing poker online more and more these days due to work constraints and other things happening in my life (that would probably be the extent of the Living part of the title of this post - I need a life, and no one wants to lease theirs to me, damnitall!!). I play with my blogger buddies a couple nights a week and, lately, I have been playing alot in those free Moneymaker tourneys on PokerStars. Can you say Donkfest at its finest? Yeah, thought you could. If it's not all-in every hand, it's calls down to the river with bottom pair (and hitting half the time) or the typical suck out that happens.

That said, I have played in a few of them (more for boredom than anything else) and actually made it into the triple digits (considering they start at around 5000 people, making it to 200 something isn't bad. By the time you get to around 1700 people, most of the true donks are gone and the lucky bastards left usually keep doing what they do and lose eventually anyway. So all in all, I consider it a good thing when I make it that far. I doubt I would ever do anything in any of those tourneys and I see it as practice and pass-time time. :)

Couple of great hands for me: I had Q9C and the board comesTJK (with the JK being suited hearts). Hmmm...I checked (and immediately regreted it after I realized that there were two hearts out there] but thankfully, the guy behind me bet so I was able to check-raise. He called. Turn is a blank, so I fire about 1/2 his stack and he calls again. River is a heart and now I am concerned. I bet 5k and he goes all in for about 8k more. I had about 18K left so...hmmm, what to do? I thought about how he bet. Would he have called and bet on the flop/turn on a draw?? After a while I called and my straight held (to his K7...yes, he called with top pair and followed it all the way down with a shit kicker [ok, I will give him credit that he maybe was trying to bluff me to thinking he was on that draw...who knows, maybe he was trying to bluff me with that draw - doofy, but I have seen much worse!]) And that was a very difficult call to make, let me tell ya.

And the point of that story is all about learning (which would be the Learning part of the title of this post). As a poker player, I am always looking to improve my game. I think about all kinds of things, but mostly, what I am doing poorly and what i need to improve on. There is one area I seriously need to improve on, and that's board and betting analysis. I suck at putting my opponents on their hands. It's not that I can't, it's more that I don't give myself time to think.

I have been blessed (or cursed) with a very sharp, quick mind and I am used to being able to assess situations, and make decisions, quickly. So, what I find myself doing is, making my poker decisions based on the board and my hand, and occasionally the opponents themselves. That's not to say I don't bluff sometimes or play aggressively, but generally, I play hands based on what I have and what I think they may have...but that's not enough. I need to do things like analyze the board and note all the hands that COULD beat me, then obviously think about what my opponents have, their betting patterns, and all that.

So...I need help. How do I retrain myself to not act so quicky? How do I train myself to remember all the things I know I need to do? I know there are only two or three of my fav poker players who actually read the drivel I write here, but if anyone has any suggestions, I would seriously appreciate assistance. If anyone has any bright ideas, email is VERY, VERY welcome!!

Thanks in advance to all of you who read this...you guys make my days sometimes. :)

XOX one and all!

p.s. My friend is en route from Iraq as I type - so this is for him. Godspeed to you, m'friend!! Thankfully, you are coming home in one piece and all my prayers and positive thoughts were to some avail. Thank you for what you did (there and before you went there) and what you will do when you return. God bless, babe!

No longer a virgin

2006-09-07T18:20:00.000-07:00

Well, I got my first ever straight flush (king high, no less...still holding out for my first royal). A thing of beauty is a joy forever and that was both beautiful and joyful. That she had Kings full of Queens to my straight flush...so much the more beautiful and joyful. What a spectacular double up. That was orgasmic! Whew! I need a cigarette now!

Every Freakin' Time!

2006-09-07T17:55:00.000-07:00

You know what's frustrating? When you make a good call (to a ridiculous overbet) and the asswipe sucks out on you. Why does it seem like every time. Last three times...I had them DOMINATED (KJ - K9, AK - A7, and on and on), made the right (and not too easy) call, and they suck out with their other freakin card. Jeez, I am gonna get a complex here soon! I don't know...maybe I am playing online too much...I so much prefer live to online but my life just hasn't allowed it lately.

This not only sucks, it swallows!

AAARRRRGGGGHHHH!

Repeat, repeat, who's got the repeat?

2006-09-06T21:11:00.000-07:00

Sorry all...this continues to be my ultimate favorite post ever!! I have to keep repeating it 'cause I keep reading it! It's just too good to not keep active and out of the archive. AlCantHang...love it, babe! THANK YOU!

If you haven't read it, please do. If you have, read it again! It's soooooooooooooo worth it!!!

So, here's to you, you calling station, river lucky, donkey ass, SOB!

Click and look for Ode to a Lemur.

Enjoy!!

Ok, ok already - she's baaaaaaaaaack!

2006-09-06T15:22:00.000-07:00

Due to popular demand (ok, well popular demand of one, but hey...I'll take a fan club no matter how small it is!! :-D) , I am again writing in my blog. To be honest, I didn't realize I have been so remiss in writing. Then again, I didn't realize that anyone actually read the drivel that I put on here...let alone wants more. GOD BLESS YA, BABE(S)! It's good to feel wanted (even if it is in my own mind...hey, gotta start somewhere)!

So, what has been happening in the life of Joanne? Lots and lots of travel for work. One trip, I had planned to hit a couple tourney's while up in Minnie-soooota - alas, that client is downtown and wouldn't give me a car. EXCUSE ME? NO FUCKING CAR? Good god, what is up with that! (Has anyone ever been to downtown St. Paul? They roll the sidewalks up at 4:00 pm. I went to Chipotle one day on my way back to my hotel after work [this is 4:30 in the afternoon] and they were closed! WTF???? Oh, and all the buildings have GUNS BANNED ON THESE PREMESIS signs. DOUBLE WTF!!!!!!!!! Not only could I not go anywhere, I didn't want to. If they have to have no gun signs, shit, send my ass home. I do not want to die in the great white north, eh?!?!) Anyway, suffice it to say that there was no poker in my future up there (and my internet connection blew, so all around, I felt like a fish out of water, floundering about hoping someone would toss a bit of water onto my poor little fish head, so I wouldn't die (OF BOREDOM! And maybe a little withdrawal...no poker for more than a week. I was looking so forward to tourney-ing in the casinos there, too.) If I never go back to MN again - that works!

I played online a couple weeks back. I love my Tuesday night online games...I play with some of the coolest, best, most fun people ever(!!!!) on Tuesday nights. I love these folks...but sometimes it's a dual edged sword to play with really good players. For when you return to playing in tourneys (either live or online), you go back to playing with donkeys who call you with 64o and hit...or they go All-In every hand when your JQo just doesn't look that good to an All-In bet. No matter, I love what I learn from these guys [that I don't do so badly, doesn't hurt my own sense of self either].

So, I am playing online a couple Tuesday nights ago and I had 9Qo. Flop comes TJK...I flop a K high straight. FLOPPED IT!! There are three of us: first position bets, I triple his bet, the last guy puts me (and position 1) all in - about 10x my reraise. Position 1 folds, and I call. Last guy has two pair and don't cha know it, rivers a boat on me. Buh bye Joanne. See ya next Tuesday night.

I played again last night. Didn't do too badly. Missed a good chance to push when I was short stacked. I had 89s but a raise and reraise before me came and I just didn't feel it, so I folded. I would have gotten a straight and took down the pot, trippling up. Alas. Took down a couple others and then went out in TJs several hands later. 12th place. DIDN'T EVEN BUBBLE! :-D Oh, well, I made a decent showing, and that worked.

I am going to be nutty busy with work soon. I have classes going on all next week (I teach computer configuration for a custom software app and do business consulting), a week off, then a conference in CA, work in Thailand, Dallas, and god only knows where else. Can you say SEE YA NEXT YEAR, Joanne? That's just about it. Thailand sounds kinda cool, though. Anyone been there? The client offered me a car/driver vs. renting my own vehicle. I am pretty adament about driving myself (St. Paul is still resonating in my brain - stuck in a hotel with nothing to do and nowhere close to go- my worst traveling nightmare. PLUS, I am gonna be in Thailand! I DON'T WANT TO SIT AROUND THE HOTEL ALL THE TIME!!!) Are any of my devout followers out there (I know, I know, all three of you!) familiar with driving in Thailand? Email me if you have any thoughts.

Ok, I posted something and will attmept to do so again before 35 (give or take a few) days rolls around. For those who missed me...AW! That's so darned sweet I could just spit! (huge sloppy kisses to ya! ok, ok, sans spit.)

Ciao ciao ciao for now now now!

J

Down $220

2006-07-18T14:18:00.000-07:00

Ya go in with the best hand and lose. I have middle pockets, he calls AT and flops a T. I have two pair down to the river, he calls every raise and gets his 3rd Q on the river (can you say JOANNE FOLDED faster than an oragami wiz??) I raised preflop 5x the BB. Get one caller (he called with 6-4 SOOOOOOOOOOOOOTED)...and the fuck flops two pair (of course, my K is in there so I flop top pair)...can you say GIMME YOUR MONEY? FUCK YOU FOR CALLING MY RAISE WITH 6-4!!!!!!!!!!!! Who the hell would have put him on 6-4??? He made big raises with high cards (20x the BB with AK and then calls with 6-4? Jeez, puleeze!) WTF!?!?!?!

Say buh bye to my cashola...from my pocket to yours, you asswipe. BLOW ME! I paid you enough to do so.

I hate ring games. Why do I play in them? Why do I play this game (that I sooooooooo love...why do I love this game???) to be called by some schumck with 6-4 and I lose 80 bucks on one hand? Would someone please shoot me in the fucking head?

Thanks. I needed that.

Serenity Prayer for the Poker Player

2006-07-04T18:25:00.000-07:00

God grant me the serenity
to accept the river cards that I cannot change;
courage to fold pocket kings when AA flops and I hear "all in";
and wisdom to know when they're pulling a move on me.

Living one hand at a time - smartly;
Savoring each win;
Accepting that bad beats are the pathway to insanity;
Taking, as He did, that fish who calls with 62o and flops trips;
not as I would have it!
Trusting that He will make all things right IF I can keep from surrendering my chip stack for the stupid calls and hands I have no business being in with;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him (when I win).
Forever (until the next game).

Amen.

Life is Guuuuud!

2006-07-04T18:24:00.000-07:00

One door closes, five more open. Ain't life amazing sometimes?!?!

Alas

2006-06-30T16:00:00.000-07:00

One super hot dude...down the tubes. No 2nd date. Destined to be friends. Alas, alas, alas. Oh well...still out there looking! Who knows when Mr. Mmm Mmm Mmm is gonna grace me with his presence, dazzle me with his brillance, or more likely, cut the cheese.

Let's recap the week. Poker sucks (yes, I was a total donkey this week), my computers are giving me fits (of course it's not just ONE computer, the computer Gods have decided that I need complete punishment - Thank you, sir! May I have another?!?!) The hottie says sayonara. My car needs to be detailed and I wind up getting out of it with more dog hair on me than my bloddy dogs have on their bodies. And it appears I am going to have to break down and do something with my back yard...I can barely see the dogs out there anymore.

Oh joy! Oh joy! I have a great life! :-D

Out of Curiosity

2006-06-30T11:02:00.000-07:00

[rant on]

Do you think I will ever be able to go an entire week without having some kind of friggin' computer meltdown? I do this for a living...why do the computer gods insist on punishing me? I mean REALLY...what did I do to them? Who did I piss off enough to make them present me with some niggling little problem that will pop up here and there? Not consistently, no...that would be tooooo figurable-outable. But one of those little "Let's drive Joanne insane today" things.

Basically, I am a good person (OK, I smoke and swear...but these are computer gods...like they should give a crap about that, right?). Oh no...they insist on stickin' it to me. God said "Today, this small application shalt not bring forth creation.. And it was so."

I have come to the conclusion that I am a sadomasochist. I love my job and I love playing around online; working, learning, reading, screwing around...but with that love there must be an inner desire to want the computer gods to mess with my mind. That has to be it. I must be internally screaming GIVE ME SOME LITTLE PROBLEM TO TOTALLY DRIVE ME CRAZY! I want it! I crave it! Please give it to me! Something that's small enough to not work the way it is supposed to...allow me to continue doing what I am doing...but with just a little GOTCHA that makes me go into total FIGURE IT OUT mode. Please do that to me...there is nothing more I love in life than wasting hours and hours dissecting WTF is wrong.

Maybe I need to get on my knees and pray to those gods. Some small sacrifice; a chicken or goat maybe? Blood wall to wall? Pennance! That's it. Rosaries to the internet goddess. Our Fathers to the registry god. Can someone please tell me what I can do to get off their shit list???

AAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!

Did I mention that Internet Explorer SUCKS?

[/rant off]

I suck!

2006-06-28T12:29:00.000-07:00

You know...you get a good chip count, maybe go up and down due to bad beats, ok, fine...but to lose a decent stack to a suck ass, stupid, donkey move. Well, I just suck.

Why do I love this game so much? I must be a sadomasochist. I love to torture myself with dipshit moves, stupid bluffs, or playing too tightly. I love to shoot myself in the foot by making that call that I JUST KNEW I shouldn't make.

I SUCK I SUCK I SUCK I SUCK I SUCK I SUCK I SUCK I SUCK

Here's to you...

2006-06-27T11:30:00.000-07:00

You calling station, river lucky, donkey ass, SOB!

Sorry all...but this one was toooooo good to let go into an archive and into oblivion.

If you haven't read it, please do. If you have, read it again! It's soooooooooooooo worth it!!!

Yes, THIS is the best poker rant ever.
Click the THIS link (above) and look for Ode to a Lemur.

Enjoy!!

(And a huge thanks to AlCantHang for this wonderful read!)

Best Poker Line Out There

2006-06-27T11:15:00.000-07:00

"Poker is an old dirty whore. Poker is a $10 crack rock. Poker is an illusion and a momentary distraction from the harsh world that we live in."

This comes from the Tao of Poker. Enjoy the ride!

A day in the life

2006-06-26T12:37:00.000-07:00

Not too much going on here. Met the cutest guy in the world the other night. WOW is about all I can say to describe that 1st date! I usually don't get too into meeting someone for the first time...it's usually such a HUGE Y A W N E R , but this guy totally rocked. (This would be the TRES cutie pie I was thinkin' about in my Nebraska trek last week.) Not only is he about the best looking guy I have ever laid eyes on (think Brad Pitt, Vince Vaughn, and Orlando Bloom all rolled into one...only better!!), but he's smart, sooooo much fun, outstanding personality, and seems to be a genuinely decent guy.

How'd that happen? I thought guys like that pretty much went the way of the DoDo bird. Thankfully, that extra special DNA was stored somewhere and made into this guy. Just a first date, but one where I would definitely like another to happen...and for me, wanting a 2nd date is something that doesn't happen often! God smiled on me! Let's keep the old fingers crossed that that 2nd date actually happens!

Minor computer glitches still happening from the fatal crash a couple weeks ago. Almost there...one step forward, two back sometimes.

I read the greatest story about a stolen Sidekick (phone/PDA). If you have lots of spare time, read this. It's a hoot! And there's nothing quite like stickin' it to an asshole. Good job!

My poker playing is a little hot here, a little cold there. The usual. Nothing really to bitch or brag about. (Who'd listen anyway...and further, who'd give a crap?!?!)

OK, that's it for now. Ciao!

Just another day

2006-06-18T16:17:00.000-07:00

Some days you got it and some days you don't. Today, I didn't.

Crap, Crap, Crap!

Gonna be another busy week....and I am NOT looking forward to it. After my computer crash, I am still playing catch up. One word: Yuck!

Yesterday was in the mid 90's (can you say HELLLLLLLLP, I'M MELLLLLTINGGGGGG?) and today was rain, overcast, rain and, well, just totally blah. I hate weekends like this. It makes me feel like there was no weekend at all. And with a busy week coming up, too. Two words: DOUBLE YUCK!

I wanna move to Hawaii or something. Rains in spurts all the time but only for a few minutes here and there...otherwise, perfect temps, nice breezes, and great Chi Chi's (with umbrellas, of course). Hmmm...a Joanne special Chi Chi sounds good!! I do believe that pineapple rum, coconut rum, some banana liquor (and coconut milk, a half a banana and some ice - blended...just in case you wanted to know) just might be in my near future. :-D

More boredom!

2006-06-17T19:58:00.000-07:00

Insight into Joanne (like anyone cares! :-)

Not sure how they came to the vanity thing...totally not true. Arrogance? Perhaps at times. Not too sure if I agree 100% with the rest, too, but for what it's worth. :-D

Dating Strengths	Dating Weaknesses
1. Independence - 85.7% 2. Intelligence - 71.4% 3. Optimism - 71.4% 4. Financial Situation - 69.2% 5. Confidence - 66.7%	1. Vanity - 58.3% 2. Arrogance - 50%

Dating Strengths Explained
Independence - Your strong sense of independence comes in handy while dating. You are not held back or tied down; you are free to pursue your interests. Intelligence - Your sharp intellect is a valuable asset. Use your intelligence wisely; avoid condescension. Quiet, confident intelligence is very attractive. Optimism - People are drawn to your positive outlook. Your optimism attracts others to you. Financial Situation - You've got your financial situation under control, which is a very desirable quality. Be careful to avoid men who are only interested in your money. Confidence - You are sure of yourself and confident of your abilities. Displays of confidence go a long way when attracting a date.
Dating Weaknesses Explained
Vanity - Learn to put a lower priority on looks. Appearance is, of course, important, but vanity is undesireable. The only people you will attract are the superficial. Arrogance - You are a bit full of yourself. You need to practice a little humility now and then, as arrogance can be a turn-off.
Dating Strengths and Weaknesses Quiz by Dating Diversions

Bored Stiff (apparently)!

2006-06-17T19:42:00.000-07:00

Take the test and see how you compare to the monkey. Some of these are totally obscure questions. I usually score much higher in these types of things, so I'm interested in how you do. Post comments if you do this.

GO FOR IT!! Hope you spank him!!

The following are my results. 57th percentile. GAG ACK BARF! :)

Joanne's Final Quiz Score: 27 right out of a possible 60
The Monkey's Final Score: 15 right out of 60

Well done, you have sent the monkey to his defeat. Your score is unquestionably higher, and thus the lowly monkey has been proven once again to be humankind's intellectual inferior. Good work, however your score does leave room for improvement. We should like to see the human dominate even more completely!

You scored in the 57th percentile.
(57% of quiz takers scored worse than you)

Geography
Your score: 8 Monkey's score: 4 -- Quite a sufficient job.

History
Your score: 4 Monkey's score: 6 -- Not your finest hour.

Science/Technology
Your score: 6 Monkey's score: 1 -- Well done.

Random Trivia
Your score: 9 Monkey's score: 4 -- Good but not great.

Link: Monkey Trivia Quiz

Happy Fathers Day

2006-06-17T18:24:00.000-07:00

Happy Fathers Day, poppy. I miss you every day.

Here's a tear-jerker ode to dad. Grab some kleenex before reading. And be sure to tell your dad how much he means to you on his special day. Our time with them is too short.

Ooooo-kay

2006-06-17T10:01:00.000-07:00

I thought I was a little whacky watching poker on TV all the time...but what did I see today as I was surfing the tube? A Rock/Paper/Scissors championship competition. And I thought *I* had time on my hands!

Hey wait...I could do that!! $50,000 payout! SCHWEEEEEEEEET!

Speaking of too much time on my hands, as of this writing, I am 1,481,549,857 seconds old. {wink}

Todays rant

2006-06-17T00:22:00.000-07:00

So I drove to NE and back on Wed and Thurs. (Now what does a poker player think about for 18 hours? Oh, about 80% of the time, POKER [starting hands, hand analysis, better ways to bet - not to mention all the jonesing I did every time I passed a casino!! {if you want to know, from Chicago to the middle of Nebraska along I-80, there are nine casinos}, and Omaha? DING! DING! DING! No, not the town, the GAME! Yeah, I got it bad!], 5% random thoughts (ok, some not so random...dude, you are WAY cute, bright, fun, totally DEEEE-LISH!!), and about 15% thinking MOVE OVER YOU SLOW FUCK! YOU'RE IN THE LEFT LANE FOR GODS SAKE!)

OK, so what's my rant? I saw the dumbest move ever. I-80 is two lanes in each direction with a wide grass divided median. Some bonehead pulls over into the right shoulder, and makes a U-turn, GOING IN THE WRONG DIRECTION on I-80, for about 500 feet so he could turn around...half on the left shoulder and half in the lane...going up an incline. Jesus Christ, he was lucky to not have killed himself or someone else. Ok, Einstein...you want to off yourself, fine, but spare the other poor sap who's driving down the interstate, minding his own business.

People are soooooooooooooooo fucking stupid!

{/rant off}

Well, well, well

2006-06-13T20:30:00.000-07:00

Played in my 2nd online tournament tonight with some REALLY, REALLY good players. Took down 6th (which is good and bad...I was chip lead almost all the way throughout. One bad call and a couple rivers later...no longer chip lead - not just no longer chip lead but I thought for sure I was going to bubble - went from 1st to 10th in a matter of several hands. Couple double up's later and I was final table bound.) I am HONORED to be playing with you guys.

Yeah, I make alot of final tables within my group. But it's nice to do it with some top people. It's always nice to get a little comfirmation that I have somewhat of a clue what I am doing. Oh, and a little luck doesn't hurt, too.

Thanks, Chris for turning me on to that. I's loves ya!

The best blog ever!

2006-06-13T11:51:00.000-07:00

Ah, here is the best poker rant ever. After getting rivered, rivered, rivered last night, this struck a cord.

Click the here link (above) and look for Ode to a Lemur.

Enjoy!!

(And a huge thanks to AlCantHang for this wonderful read!)

Crabby as hell

2006-06-13T07:15:00.000-07:00

Nothing like going out three times in one night.

Luck was not in my cards last night. I got rivered, rivered, rivered!

GRRRRRR!

All in a day

2006-06-07T08:22:00.000-07:00

Well, the laptop is coming home today with a shiny, new 100 mg hard drive. Now, to attempt to recover files. Yeah, yeah, yeah...I know: BACKUP! For a geek, I dropped the ball. (deep sigh)

Played in a big online tourney last night. TOTALLY SUCKED! 44th out of 69. Completely not up to my standards. Worse yet? I got good cards. No excuse. I screwed up.

Learn learn learn! That's the name of the game.

Til next time....

When bad things happen...

2006-06-06T07:24:00.000-07:00

Alas, my laptop bit the big one. Off to the Geek Squad we go. I have a feeling it's the hard drive. (DEEP SIGH) I hope it's repairable, cause I love this thing!

WOO HOO!!

2006-06-05T21:39:00.000-07:00

Made the final table tonight. That's 3 out of 4! POINTS, POINTS, POINTS!!

It's all about the POKER!

2006-06-05T14:57:00.000-07:00

I have registered to play in the PokerStars World Blogger Championship of Online Poker!

This Online Poker Tournament is a No Limit Texas Holdem event exclusive to Bloggers. Registration code: 5619605

Come on along for the ride! It's gonna be a blast!

Today

2006-06-05T14:41:00.000-07:00

Today is my first entry. WOO HOO!

A little about me. I live in the northern burbs of Chicago. Am a Sr. Consultant who travels here and there for work. I love reading (I own about 5000 books) and live to play Texas Hold 'em poker!

I am on what can best be described as a poker league. I play (in person) about 3-5 nights a week, and in a good week, I can make 3 or more final tables. I recently started playing in casinos and have made a couple final tables thus far. Not bad for a newbie (I only started playing in January of this year (06).